Moving Your Life in Tiny Boxes

I never thought I has so much crap until I had to pack for the potential move.

I've been at the same place for almost ten years, and you tend to accumulate a lot of garbage, that at one point, you though you needed. And, even though you haven't use the item in question in amost a decade, a small part of you is whispering in your ear that you'll be sorry if you throw that away.

Do I need an Entertainment weekly from 1997? A broken model of the millennium Falcon? A badge for the DVD release of the Lion King? An extra rule book for Mille Bournes? A broken audio tape? Model parts from various kit bashed toys? A lifesized cutout of Halle Berry? The cardboard box from an old Windows 95 game? Six ball mouse's and three keyboards?

By the way, as no one has determined the right plural of a computer mouse, I officially state that the plural of the computer mouse is "mouse's", and not "Mice". "Mice" refer to the rodential animal. As a computer mouse doesn't eat cheese or poop pellets, I think they shouldn't be referred as the same as a herd of Mice.

The plural of keyboards is "A gaggle of Alpha-numeric pressure triggers"

Urgh...I'm so tired of packing. I should just toss half of my stuff. But, the guilt that follows will be unbearable. Why is it when you pack, it seems like you have less room than you did before? Why did I have to collect books and not something lighter, than say, thimbles?

I haven't even been able to play my favorite game, City of Heroes, like the comic geek that I am, or watch a DVD (As they're all packed). I don't even have a place to go yet.

Most places have three criteria to rent from them:

1.) Criminal record: I'm clean as a whistle. A shoe in.
2.) Rental history: Never skipped out on a rental, and I've been a very quiet and responsible tenant for many years.
3.) Credit history: ........ ........ ........er...

okay, credit aint ot good. Who's isn't? But I more than excel in the two others, and I can more than pay the rent. I'm also taking care of my credit without resorting to bankruptcy. But they input my application into a gaggle of Alpha-numeric pressure triggers, and in seconds, I'm denied.

Why don't I stay in my current place? The place is literally falling apart! The pluming has gone bad every year from massive flooding to the toilet flushing into the apartment below me. The electrical wiring shorts out and trips the circuit breakers when the wind blows..Literally! And the floors are starting to cave in.

All the current owners are doing is updating the places, which I must say, is more than the past owners did. But a fresh coat of paint and raising the rent $100 doesn't hide that fact that one day soon, I might find myself in the apartment below me. Crashing through like Curly of the three stooges sawing through the floors. It's not worth it for the cosmetic bandaid.

But there we go. Back to packing. Back to calling around. Back to applications that are hopefully close to free to apply.

Hmph... Once place wanted $1000 deposit for a cat! You get the deposit back after they go through your apartment with a CSI blacklight to find cat stains and an enzyme check for feline urine! It's cool if it's human residue, I guess. I had to ask twice to see if I heard the landlord right. I suppose I could cover for the cat and say, "Oh that? That was me. I was feeling quite frisky one night, and I have the bladder of a frighten bunny at times..."

Oh, and I'm probably gonna keep Halle Berry.