Band Journal Entry: 4/13/91

I need to clear my head. Usually a shot of William Shatners "Mr. Tambourine man" will do it, but instead, I'm gonna let you all in on my history. As some of you might know or maybe not, I used to dabble in alternative bands in the mid 80's thru the 90's.

Setting up for a gig can be exciting, but the waiting is boring. To calm my nerves, I use to write these "Band Road Journals" to make us all laugh. We even published these on our flyers, and many people, I hesitate to say "fans", loved to read them...

Here's the first of some of the semi-true adventures on "the road" in Los Angeles, California...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Band Journal Entry: 4/13/91

Len's underwear was stolen. All of it. He pulled open the rusty door on the old vintage '56 Maytag expecting to retrieve his freshly scrubbed briefs, only to be greeted by a puff of hot air and an empty dryer.

His astonishment was understandable. After all, these were not your glamorous Marky Mark shorts. These were REAL jockeys: waistband all streched out and lifeless, trim around the legs torn and hanging like some kind of pathetic fringe, and all of it tinted with a grayish hue from being thrown in too many times with the tie-dyes. We're not talking about goods that are easy to fence!

Thus, it doesn't take a criminologist to figure out the whole affair has "Wacko" written all over it. After all, there's just not a lot of people who can fill Len's shorts! He's a tall guy. On the average sick-o, Len's underwear would hang around the knee region. You add to that the above mentioned fringe, and you have something that looks like David Lynch's version of a 1920's flapper (remember when you were a little kid and run across a pair of your dad's underwear and think to yourself "Geez, putting these on would be like trying to wear a bathtub!") Perhaps you're getting the picture...

Okay, this is probably more than you ever wanted to know about Len's underwear. The point is that this town's getting a little heavy. We can handle the riots, the drive-by shootings, the car jackings, But it's the man's shorts for Christ sakes! Something has to be sacred, and were drawing the line at the briefs.

See ya at the show!

copywrite 1991 Michael Avila & Pseudopod Corp. Celebrity voices impersonated.