My Fearie Princess Watches Over Me

Today was Bad. Real bad. I actually thought I would die and no one would find me. They'd call tomorrow to say why I wasn't at work, and I'd get written up for a no show. And I wonder when someone would care enough to find me.

That Tetanus shot I think really almost fried my immunities, or the hospital waiting room was alive with deadly spores. Within days, I had a persistent cough, runny nose, aches and pains, and a headache that would smother Godzilla. This morning, I wasn't hungry anymore, and when I was out and about, even though it was a very hot 89 degrees of sunlight, I had the windows on my Herbie closed and the heater on, and yet the chills almost incapacitated me. I was lucky to get home when I did.

With the windows all closed I collapsed on the couch, and Indiana, my cat (like all cats, intuitive) layed on top of me to keep me warm. It it did no good. I passed out.

Woke up two hours later and I crawled upstairs, almost falling twice and hating myself for feeling so helpless. My eyes were watering so much, I had to feel for the thermometer...and I passed out for a brief second as I slid to the floor. I wiped my eyes enough to see with one, and my hands weren't cooperation to grab the glass tube, or even hold it up. But I saw it.

105.5 and rising. my head was burning up and i half fell downstairs trying to decide what to do. there is NO way I can drive to the hospital, and I can't even use my hands to find the phone anymore. fingers are clenched and don't work. I'm shivering to the point of cunvulsions. Usually, I could call Kim, but she's vacationing in France. Sorta kinda out of the question, huh? I start to go through my list of "friends" that my clouded mind can think of. If I go any higher, I'll pass out and I won't wake up. And worse yet, the cat will eventually be hungry. I started to cry, as I couldn't move and on the edge of reality.

I had a friend in Heather, and I thought, regardless of what she thinks of me, perhaps she'd put that aside and help me get to a hospital. But no. She didn't want to be my friend anymore because I "complicate things" and she has a life she needs to concentrate on. She doesn't like my intensity anymore, and jesus, this is intense right now. Fine. Even though I was hurt that I let down my shields for her, and she abandons that friendship (friendships ARE complications! Welcome ones. I wouldn't have it any other way), I respect that. Thinking of others again...

I think of Christina, as we were going go out for drinks that night (kinda out of the question now), but she's awaiting her boyfriend to call from jail in Wyoming. Caught with a bag of weed and has a 70 day sentence. She's not going to want to miss his phone call. Thinking of others...and I realize...no one can pause and think of me at this time. Their lives are full and I "complicate things". I try the thermometer again, and it's inching to 106. And there is no one, except a cat with no drivers license or the concept of using 911.

I start to pass out, as I can't hold on and my fingers and arms can't move, and drop the glass tube. I can't breathe right, and i can't see.

And... in my mind of shuttered emptiness, I... see an old friend: Kimberlina

let me tell you about Kimberlina. She is a Fearie Princess. That's probably the best way I can describe her. She and I used to get together over coffee and talk about all things metaphysical and her mind was so open and inviting, she had no end to her brilliance. A day with her was totally invigorating...and i haven't been abbe to talk to her since her birthday in January due to her heavy work schedule. If I was lucky, i might get a message monthly, and that was enough to rejuvenate all the things she believed in. I saw her with invisible fearie wings on her shoulders.

When she saw me for the first time, she said she could tell I was a "guardian healer". Her Unicorn. And i told her about my penchant for healing fast, even able to warm my hands in an instant. I held hers and she was surprised how quick she felt that. She said she saw a light in me as a healer, and I'm just learning to harness that. Yes, it's new age, but she believed and she made me as well.

And in my fevered exit, I saw a vision of her. And she said, "...Light from within.". Mind you, I never "learned" how to do this, but I saw my fearie guardian...and, I imagined my core glowing...
My warmth changed and it was beautiful. SHE was beautiful. I directed the "rays" to my hands, and they clenched, I centered my being and my eyes opened. I let the healing light hit my limbs and I could get up with great resistance. I pumped that back into my mind, and I could think again. I walked, walked, upstairs and tried the thermometer again...

105 and falling. 104. Right now it's 103.5 and i can think, and sit up, and type coherently, and talk. I'm not ready to drive yet, but I won't die. Not with my fearie princess looking over me.

Could it be it was a fevered dream? That I was just ready to brake the fevered veil? Possibly. But, today, I believe in faith.

I might call her and leave a message, and I bet she felt something too. She's like that. And she's wonderful.