Countdown to Doomsd...Birthday

It's only minutes away, and I just don't know how I feel about it.

I mean, it's not what I'd hope it would be.

I dunno if I blogged about it, but way back in January, when I found out that Heather wasn't getting a very good birthday, I decided that I'd take her and Kim out and have a great birthday dinner outing. And I said, I wanted today to be all about her. It was going to be, without question, HER day. They way I think everyone should be treated on their own special day. I didn't matter that I don't like mexican food, she did. And I truely beleive in the "do onto others..." mantra. For the first time, I was looking forward to my own birthday.

But It won't happen that way, now will it. Was I being selfish? Am I even allowed to be on the only day of the year where I can be "first"?

The people at work mention that I should meet them at Applebees tomarrow. I am on the fence if I should even go. It all seems more like a "we're going to a bar, you wanna come too since it's your birthday?" I can see myself going and there'll be people there I either don't know or don't socialize with. And they'll all talk about things I can't relate to, and it'll be just like all the parties i ever went to as a young adult: where I would just sit in the back and drink punch, then leave early. Honestly, do you really think I'd ruin their get together if i just go home? A birthday should be more than awkwardness. Kim says i should just go anyway.

I just think a birthday shouldn't be a "just go anyway" affair. I want my day. And I never ask for much.

Doesn't help that a woman customer at work used me to instill fear in her crying children. Thanks lady. She actually told her kid, "stop crying! See that man? He's getting mad at you!"

Why do parent threat their kids with me? I don't have the goal in life to be a real life boogyman to seal up a younglings emotions in public. I'm not even a big fat threataning looking guy. And I shaved today too.

Speaking of which, yesterday, I was at Target buying a fortune in flu and cough meds of all manifestations and sexual preferences, when I hear...oddly enough....a child crying and begging his mom to buy him something. Probably something Spider-manish I bet. When the mom said no and she finished talking about that, this lil' 5 year old child said, in a very clear voice:

"...you can GO TO HELL!!!!"

my keen detective like mind tells me the mother is probably a divorcee' who spends a lot of time on the phone screaming at her Ex. She probably ends each call with that line and a big ol' slam of the reciever.

Oh, and what the hell kind of birds crapped on my car last night?! It looks like tree dingos had intestinal problems on my hood! I mean, sometimes it's dead bugs and poop. But this is dead bugs sliced in half and toasted IN the poop! And not even a mushed bug. Theses bugs are half eaten and still have the terror on their buggy faces as they are half emersed in the tar they are slapped into! Whoever is pooping must be a meat eater bird like a vulture or a peruvian cave bat. I moved my poor car into a safer enviroment, like a lava pool.

Two minutes till midnight.

Then again, I may be totally wrong, and I might have a wonderful day full of surprises and laughter and great lifetime memories!

Midnight. Happy Birthday to me.


I am not joking. I just got up and stepped barefoot in fresh cat barf. Somewhere a feline is snickering.