Paying Someone to Kick My Ass

I'm now going to a gym, and I have a personal trainer. And he "motivates" me to push harder than I normally would. The importance of nutrition and keeping my caloric content between 1600 - 2400, how 15 reps the right way is more beneficial than 1000 done wrong. And he gets paid to torcher me.

I constantly see people with grit teeth and screaming with eyes bugged out and the look of someone passing a bottle brush...lengthwise...Trying to max out weights. All they're gonna do is tear muscle. And I see women on the treadmill, wearing a thong. Do you know how impractical that is?! I would think running in that would be like sliding down a barbed wire fence.

But this story, strangely enough, isn't about that. It's about what happened after the gym.

My "Herbie" wouldn't start. Worse than that, all the dash lights went haywire, the door locks and alarm wasn't activating, and the trunk unlatched. I was in a weeping panic! My car is too new for this to happen!!

Turns out I needed a new battery. It seems that my 2001 beetle had the same 5 year battery since it was forged. Well, that scare was like a 5 mile jog to my system! My heart was beating like a frightened bunny!

So, I took it to Les Schwab for a new battery, after I called them to confirm that not only do they have a battery for the VW new beetle, but that someone there knows how to install it. Ever see the inside of a NB engine? It's the most unique, compact, and difficult engine to work on. Like the inside of a watch.

I get a jump from Les, or a cousin of his, I dunno, and get Herbie to the Mechanic Schwabite. And Now I'm pacing by a window as I see my car a couple of rows down with it's hood up. I'm like a worried parent waiting for his child from surgery. I'm even hoping the mechanic washes his hands.

And What I see makes my jaw drop. He's yanking on the old battery to try to get it out of the car! Then he sits on the new battery to get it in! He's holding a piece of the engine in his hands, and he looks...befuddled!! Like he doesn't know where it fell off of, or where it goes! Now, I see him sticking one...no, two magnetic probes in the engine block to retrieve something! I'm plastered against the glass, going mad and I'm about to scream for someone the get that hack away from my car.

Two hours later, and another competent mechanic later, Herbie is good as new with greasy fingerprints on her hood, and a 84 month super-mega battery.

And that's what the title means: I paid someone to give me a complete coronary while I watched. I skipped the gym that day so I can recuperate.

My nerves are shot.