Happy IndependaZAARP!

I hope everyone had a "safe and sane" 4th!

I almost made it unscathed this time.

It always seems that holidays are the nexus point of calamity in my life. Something always goes wrong, it can never be anticipated, and only my staying home and hiding, can it be averted. They usually involve car accidents, and I try to only walk those days. Memorial day, sideswipe and car totaled. Birthday, went to then girlfriends house only to be rear ended and have THAT car totaled. St. Paddys day this year...Read that blog...

Needless to say, I'm not partial to driving.

So here we are at the 4th of July 2006. My car is parked across the street to avoid any firework discharges. But I feel like getting some food this evening, and I figure, "the store is only a few blocks away, driving should be safe on the rual streets". Why I chose to ignore my past I'll never know. But you'll see, it was for a good reason I did.

I go to the store and pick up a frozen pizza. As I walk to to the car, ignoring that fact I decided to no purchase any fireworks this year, I notice that the ugly clouds above were thunderous...

Then I see a huge blot of lightning slam into the ground a few blocks away! That was incredible, I think! I hope my cat is okay. He's usually hiding under the sofa on a loud explosion day like this. Then a few more stikes. Even another one almost where the first biggest one hit. Just like an awesome fireworks display!

I start to drive back home a few blocks, I notice, No lights are on in any house or street. Completely black. Wonder if the bolt hit a transformer. I remember a presidents birthday that I was almost struck by lightning when it hit a power pole transformer I was next to. Kinda cool actually.

Wait a sec... My house is right about where those bolts struck...

Then I see.

There's a 75 foot oak across the street from my house. The first bolt stuck the tree and blew the top 25 feet off. The bolt traveled down the tree and stripped it of all bark, exploding branches all the way down and sending it hundreds of yards in all direction, including the alvoves and windows of houses across the street. The second bolt hit the tree nearby, shredding it in half and sending the charge through the powerline...That goes to my house.

I drive past people out in the streets with candles and flashlights and run up to my house. My house is completely dark, and the lights start to flicker back on as I desperately call out to my cat. My God, he must be terrified that this happened!!

The light come back on, and I search franticly. As I pass my the TV, I turn it on, as the sound comforts him. It doesn't go on at first, then a big spark and it now looks like my TV took acid and is listening to Jefferson airplane. What the hell? I run upstairs and see not only are clocks not running, but some are actually fallen off the tables.

And here I find my cat lying on the bed. I touch him to check, trying not to think of the worst...When he shocks me. Literally shocks me with a static charge! And he get's up all annoyed that I woke him! He's a big statically puff ball now! If I were to rub him and toss him against the wall, he'd stick.

After I feed the now mutated electo-cat, I check all my electronics in the house, and find that most of them are shorted out! My TV, my router and phones, my computer and monitor, and dammit, my x-box! Aww dammit! What about my surge protectors? It seems, they're all okay

Here's what happened. The first bolt of lightning took out the big tree, and exposed the second lower (now tallest) tree. The second bolt hit that tree and traveled to the powerline and internet coaxial that was next to tree. That traveled across to my house And across the roof to the grounding poles, which happen to be located just outside my back window. The hit created a pulse, that bypassed all surge protectors (as it didn't travel through a powerline at that point) and fried all my electronics...and supercharged my cat.

Needless to say I had too much fireworks for one night.

But, here's the irony. I was the lucky one.

My neighbors TV's exploded. Computers fused. Windows broken from the missile like tree shards. I spent all day repairing fuses and wiring network cards and de-gaussing screens with a gadget I wipped up, and repaired everything except a modem, phones, and dammit, my x-box.

But that isn't the irony I was talking about. remember the tree that had the top 25 feet of it blown off? Where did that tonnage of tree go? Right where my car was parked not 10 minutes before. If I didn't ignore all my warnings and drive, I'd have no car, but a large metal planter. The same tree I thought was the safest placew to park that night.

So the street was closed off while all kinds of ciry workers cleared the way, and I sit here petting a cat that gives off a slight spark.

All in all, not a bad holiday. maybe next year, I might actually go out.

After grounding my cat.