Cybering and...YOU!

Once upon a time, the internet was made only of the magical fairie ether-realm called AOL. And this magical land of AOL, which was ruler of all internet gumption, had a dark, dark underworld that bred a river of decite and gluttany. Where everyone was compelled to be someone other that what society proclaimed what was "acceptable in mixed company"

The AOL chatrooms of the 90's. Yes, I was one of those neophyte "World Wide Web" users that know of the internet world through AOL only. We didn't know that we were living vicariously though someone elses backyard. This was an era where you bought books that gave you http addresses to find things like where to buy a hat. And that book had a "hats" chapter.

My error was going to the AOL chatrooms for some interesting conversation. Never have i've seen a collection of egotistical, crass, immature, childish, users who took revenge on their petty lives by trying to be someone else online, usually someone you'd never want to know in real life. Unpleasant misfits from all walks of life.

Here was a few simple things I found out from those times:

1. Never talk to anyone who says (types) one of the following:
"Hello to all the lovely ladies out there..."... Next step is to find someone to cyber with...

"@-\--/--- for all the ladies..." Nothing says "commitment and trust" like a hastingly typed "and" symbol, some dashes and slashes freshly cut from your garden of love...

"Age/Sex check..." I hate this one. I know what i am, why do i need to check every couple of minutes?

"anyone wanna cyber?"...See?

2. Avoid anyone using "gangsta talk", i just reads silly... :
"Wassup ladies", "Whassup sluts", "da partyboy has arrived!" ...I swear to god, I always get a kick out of infantile chatters who start beating their chest and threaten you this way ..,. "dont yo be diss'n me! Me an my homies is gonna comon over and bust a cap in yo ass!" Bwah-HA-hahh-HAA!!!

3. Everyone claims to be any of the following professions in a chatroom:
Fireman, Marine, Police Officer, Proffesional surfer, Stripper or Dancer...
Common "professions": Student, unemployed, paper delevery, magic card collector, McDonalds fry supervisor, loner, outcast... never seemingly chat online.

4. NeVeR TaLk To AnYoNe WhO's pRoFiLe iS tYpEd LiKe ThIs:
This is just annoying and only anyone under 6 still thinks this is cute. Or use "U' and "R" instead of "you are".

And, I don't think real women would choose a name like, "BiggJuggs" or "Sexy4U".

Then, you get the same question over and over if a chatter even THINKS you're a female, "Wanna Cyber?". What is "Cybering"? Thats when a chatter male tries to get a chatter female to go into a private room, and type/pretent to have sex. It's like phone-sex, but both callers have no idea what sex is really about. I can imagine that if someone did ever do this, when you get towards the end, there would be a long pause till someone asks, "er...so...we done here, or..". Maybe it is like the real thing...

Back then, I wanted to get an example of the so called "Cybering", but from a female perspective, since the males were the predetor here. So I created a name that wasn't sexual in any way, but was female. I would identify myself as an educated female by my profile with no sexual terms or suggestiveness, and I "spoke" with intellegence, not the cyber-bimbo. Wanted to see if a female online would get some respect as simply someone who chats...

Y'know, it didn't matter! I had to turn off paging and private messaging just to talk in a chatroom! "Do you want to go to a private room?" I got TONS of requests as soon as "ARCHASHLEY" showed her head. It was like chasing dogs off the back of a meat wagon!

Below is the true adventures of ArchAshley.

No names have been changed to protect anyone... (the language might be harsh here, be forwarned.) And yes, you can see my annoyance with everyone there. Try to guess what a real female would feel like all the time, just wanting to chat and thats it!
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Ps9994: any hot p***y want some action
ArchAshley: PS9994 seems like a p***y to me....
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Shagy169: ANY BITCHES WANT TO FUCK
Shagy169: I'm a real man
ArchAshley: ....and?
ArchAshley: so am I! are you naked?
ArchAshley: hello?
(deathly silence)
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SGJOEKERR: hi sexxie t*** how are you?
ArchAshley: deathly ill after the spinal menagitis. lost some muscle in my vertabre SGJOEKERR: lol
ArchAshley: i don't think that it's funny!
ArchAshley: do you like laughing at other peoples pain?
SGJOEKERR: lol..you are kidding..you gotta be
ArchAshley: what makes you think i'm kidding?!
(deathly silence)
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G Bullet77: are you really 36
ArchAshley: nope.
ArchAshley: 23
G Bullet77: 23 is my lucky #
ArchAshley: or 17+ 6
ArchAshley: or 28 - 5
G Bullet77: math major
ArchAshley: or 6 x 4 -1
G Bullet77: age/sex/loc?
ArchAshley: or 3rd prime number + 12 x 2 - 13
G Bullet77: you talkin or multiplin
G Bullet77: hello to all the ladies in the room
ArchAshley: or square root of a natural sine / 68 + difference between F and C degrees till Absolute 0 is reached
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Baseb11111: want to go to private room 27/m
ArchAshley: why?
Baseb11111: to cyber
ArchAshley: okay...
Baseb11111: think u can handle me
ArchAshley: i said "okay", dumbass.
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OnlineHost: OnlineHost: *** You are in "Baseb11111 Chat70". ***

OnlineHost:
ArchAshley: okay. we're here...
Baseb11111: hey baby
Baseb11111: u have a pic
ArchAshley: "hey baby? you have pic?" this is not cybering...
Baseb11111: well i want to know what i am going to fuck first
ArchAshley: I'm guessing from your sweet talk, usually your closed fist...
Baseb11111: i am going to fuck u all night long
ArchAshley: you've never done this before, have you...
Baseb11111: nope can u help me out
ArchAshley: oh god! an amature!
ArchAshley: "think u can handle me"...jesus!
Baseb11111: take advantage of me then
ArchAshley: Where did you learn that line?
ArchAshley: you can't just go at it like a dog humping a table leg...
Baseb11111: the question is can u handle 10.5 inches of rock hard dick inside u all night long
ArchAshley: sure I could, but then, what will you be doing?
Baseb11111: u like it in the ass
ArchAshley: did you actually measure yourself?!
Baseb11111: nope ex did
ArchAshley: and don't give me the ex-girlfriend routine...
Baseb11111: ook
ArchAshley: no girl would ever take out a tape measure...
(long pause)
ArchAshley: you measured yourself, huh...
Baseb11111: sure
ArchAshley: jeez, there are other hobbies, y'know!
Baseb11111: i am sure u will like it
ArchAshley: how do you know, psychic friend?
OnlineHost: Baseb11111 has left the room.
ArchAshley: hello?
ArchAshley: Hehehe......
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