The Broken Shoelace

I think I've come up with a way to raise the morale of all salespeople in the workplace!

You see, working in that industry, you constantly are "helping" customers that think you're there for their amusement, and abuse. They can call you a liar, but if you defend yourself, you ought to be fired! I remember customers being complete bastards to an innocent worker, just because he's there, and he can't fight back, lest he gets in trouble. And the customer will tear the poor guy, or gal, a new one, then say they need compensation for all the anguish. After all, "the customer is always right", right?

Crap. The Customer used to be fooled they were right because the customer had the money. In the fifties, there was customer loyalties and no one gernerally took advantage of a store. Nowadays? I always see the same "righteous" customers trying anything to steal a deal. From quoting obviously erroneous labels (meat that is $.01 a pound than $1.00, an obvious human error), or just being jerks to get their way (let me speak to your manager! I want some kind of discount for MY time and gas wasted!)

And there is no customer loyalty. If a place sold the same item cheaper, no matter how much they might hate the store, they'll buy that there. This explains the power of the darkside that is Wal-mart.

I remember one time a customer wanted me to fire an employee because they wouldn't help her as they wanted to be helped. So I told her I would, right now, take care of it and THIS was the last straw!!! I took the employee to the back with the customer hanging around, a cheesy smile on her face, and the show began...

Employee: (slightly scared) ...am I in trouble?
Me: (lowering voice) Naaah... She wants me to fire you for you not doing what you're not paid to do. So, we're gonna put on a play for her, to get her the hell outta here. I'll start raising my voice then you can go on a brake. Get some Burgerville and relax. She's totally a bitch!

My employee starts to smile and wipe a tear, then I go through the angry manager routine. The door flies open and she exits in front of the crossed armed customer feigning a sob, as I say to get her things and "go home". I tell the customer I hope she's satisfied, and she says she is...

Whatta bitch! Just because her day has gone bad, she needs to vent on someone else that can't fight back. She's willing to make a stranger lose their way of livelihood, just for some sense of satisfaction! And you wonder why job turnover is so high!

The employee became that terrible customers broken shoelace.

Whats that? Lets say that you're a person that has a really bad day. The dog ate your wallet. You're out of waffles after you've had your heart set for that. Someone cuts you off on the freeway. Your boss blames you for something...

Then while tying your shoe, the shoelace brakes. THAT shoelace has become everything that has gone wrong that day and is so against you! That evil evil blacken bloodless shoelace! The shoe is out to get you, and this...is..the...last...straw!!! You toss your shoe with all your might and a mighty yell out your window, shattering the glass. Damn you, shoelace! You broke my window too!!!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!

And the same with that poor employee. They've become the unrelated focus of total human anger and frustration in society. And, it's always the poor employees. They can't defend themselves... How do you raise the morale and curb the attacks in the workplace when this is so rampant?

Here's the deal: All employees of retail establishments, store that directly cater to the public, accrue "release" days, much like you accrue sick and vacation days. Whats a "release" day? A government mandated free pass. You can bitch righ back to a customer, even have them forcibly escorted off the premises! Free and clear of any issues.

Of course you cant do anything against the law, but you can speak your mind and perhaps, customers knowing you might have quite a few of these days saved up, will treat you with some human respect.

Customer: What are you, stupid?
Employee: Well, you're a case of the clap! That's just rude to call me that! you can leave the store right now...
Customer: well! I never! Where's your manager!
Employee: What? Your pants are caught on a nail? Get him yourself! I have much more pleasant and respectful customers that can use my help.
Manager: What can I help you with Ms.
Customer: I am very upset. That cashier...
Employee: Using my "day"
Manager: ...Oh. I see...
Employee: I asked her to leave already...
Customer: Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted, this idiot...
Manager: Ma'am, I believe you were asked to leave. Do I have to call mall security?

Will this lose customers? Y'bet ya it will! The bad ones! If all you got were the good customers in your daily dealings, work will be enjoyable. You'll be happy to be there and help people. The good customers will be loyal customers, and they'll tell friends. And the moral in the entire world will be raised.

And the blue collar working class just trying to make a buck, will no longer be the bullied broken shoelace... 'Tis a dream I have...