Axing Realities

(this was a draft from a while back of me trying to write again on one of my rare good days, originally from March 13, 2013)

One of the "perks" (if you will) of being disabled, is being able to see just about every syndicated "reality" type "show".  That's a lot of quotations marks there, but with good reason.  These show do that fine balancing act of being both entertaining, and mind numbing crapfests.  I watch these things completely astounded that there are vast audiences and follow these as gospel, real edifices of humanity.  I guess my attempt here is to navigate for all those who don't have insomnia and have to work, the wild lands of cheap syndicated folderol.  (look that word up, it's worth using and it fits this perfectly)

Firstly a few caveats, much like wearing protective headgear when skateboarding or biking.  Just to make your journey less painful than mine:

The word "Axed" - used primarily in courtroom shows.  Definition, the past tense of "ask", apparently.  This one makes my skin crawl every time I hear it.  Can't be bothered to use a few more mouth muscles to form the word "asked"?  Dumb yourself down and let the word "axed" slide out instead for half the effort of real human speech.  Example:  "I axed him why he kick my car, Judge Judy!"  I understand "asked" uses a bit more tongue gymnastics, but com'on people!  Make the effort, I already had one brain stroke, every time I hear that word on a show I get so near a stupidity triggered aneurysm

Being shirtless - It never fails, on any police/cops type show, you can count the seconds till a perp has his shirt disappear or shows up without a shirt.  Often times, I'll watch an episode of Cops, and when an officer approaches the door to some inevitably white trashy situation and they have to figure out the guilty party, it's always the shirtless guy.  Oops, spoilers.  It's almost a drinking game sometimes.

Creating Compulsive Disorder from Watching Disorders - To anyone who watches the show "hoarders",  they know what I mean.  After watching that addictive show, I always get in an intense mood for cleaning, organizing, and throwing away things I kept for a bit, but haven't used yet.  It's a great house maintenance motivator.

"Actuality" - beware of any network or show that avoids the word "reality" and use buzzwords such as the non-word "actuality"