Drunken Rage on the Internet

With my moving now done, I can now…unpack! Ugh…

But as I do, I'll go ahead and tell you another quick tale from my Internet customer support files.

The subject of this page is a very real incident while I was working technical support for a free mp3 player product. The company and program was MusicMatch. We used to get tons of bizarre emails, which I shared a couple recently, but this one stands out because I was able to see the whole story of a very dysfunctional family in action through the magic of the internet, through a stream of several emails...
Share with me the moments, won't you?

(the spelling and punctuations were kept the same without corrections; and my comments are in italics. I have changed or omitted last names and actual email addresses)

To: ted@ musicmatch.net from: jcook@bell.net Subject: tech support request
Date recieved: 4/13/01 3:03:53pm

I"M ready to broadcast to the net, that you "Fuck paying customers!
your relationshp with DFX, is a negitive

fix this shit add on, or I will make it known, "You are a ripp off!"
Thank you in advance
Drop fucking dead please.
p.s. PlLEASE! don"t as me what"s wrong, since you know so much, and care about me, so you claime!
Your problem is with DFX, and so is your loyal customers!
Jon you more on"s!

(…now, DFX is an add on purchased from another company that can add an equalizer to may mp3 player programs, including MusicMatch, so he's barking up the wrong tree to begin with. I do appreciate the thanking in advance that we drop dead, and he asked so nicely with a "please". As you will see later, this guy wasn't even "Jon" at all, but we're a bunch of "more ons" so what do we know? Apparently "so much"...Read on...)

(the next day, i found this email, which raised the email beyond the typical ramblings of a madman:)

To: ted@ musicmatch.net from: jcook@bell.net Subject: re: tech support request
Date recieved: 4/14/01 12:38:54am

Hi;
First off I want to appologize to everyone at Tech Support. It seems during a party here at my place, an opinion was offered up to you people by a very intoxicated person. I have no idea what the content was, becuase there was no record of it on my system. I was told my my would-be helpful friend that he 'told you people off!"
It's my fault really. When I couldn't get DFX to work, and said a few things I probably shouldn't have. My friend took it upon himself to relay my feelings, for which i am sorry. I've point out to him that "MusicMatch has nothing to do with DFX."

Please accept my apology on both our behalf
Thanks in advance
Jon

(Who doesn’t like a fall down drunken party at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? that was the time of the first letter. Boy, this guy knows how to pick his friends. Getting an apology for an angry outburst is very rare indeed, but getting the actual guy who made the outburst to apologize as well, that’s very very unique...we got this 5 hours later)

To: ted@ musicmatch.net from: jcook@bell.net Subject: re: tech support request
Date recieved: 4/14/01 5:11:12am

Good Morning
This is Jon's uncle Rick. Jon told me he emailed you apologizing for my drunken outburst yesterday to you people. I felt I should be the one to say I'm sorry, and I am. I don't remember what I said, just being mad. I know this is no excuse for being rude or blame you people, but my nephew has bought a lot of junk off the net, nost that never works or works lousy. When he told me the MusicMatch thing wasn't working after buying the upgrade, I guess I blew my top. I raise Jon most of life and I hate it when the kid gets ripped off. I now know the problem has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. And once again, i'm sorry for the whole mess.

I promise to never behave that way again with you folks or anyone else
Rick

P.S. Please don't hold anything against Jon, he had nothing to do with this

(Who here doesn't think that the fact that Uncle Rick can get so drunk at family get togethers, that he doesn't remember anything?
Look! Ricks here! And he's been drinking! Lock up the guns, the women, and the cat! And you better unplug the phone in case he has a beef with someone. It seems Rick has a past with "apologies" a lot for the love of the warm smooth hooch.
At least when he's sober, he uses apostrophes properly. Does this mean we don't have to drop dead after all? The customer IS always right, you know. Perhaps, we should call social services to Jons house?)


(We here at MusicMatch felt bad for Jon having a drunken ass as an Uncle, so we sent this...)

To: Jcook@bell.net From Responding Agent: Bruce David
Date Sent: 4/14/01 8:17:01pm

Hello Jon;
We've received all your other e-mails and it's not a problem at all, we've all been there.
What is the problem exactly with the DFX we can help you with?
Regards,
Bruce

(…and now the capper... Jons last reply...)

To: "Bruce" From: jcook@bell.net Subject: re: technical support
Date Recieved: 4/15/01 4:41:55am

No, I don't think anyone else but DFX can help my problem
Thanks for your patients with my uncle. He's not well, and isn't supposed to mix alcohol with his med's
Jon