Things that annoy me for December

Well, once again, the world annoys me in one way or another.

• People who use their cell-phone as a walkie talkie: Isn't the point of a cell phone is to have portable private conversations? They make ear pieces y'know. All I know is that i'll be in a market, and i'll hear a shrill beep and a crackly mono voice screaming, "How much does the shovel cost?!!". Quickly followed by more loud beeps, and a "What?! Repeat that? Over!". Now the whole store can share in this incredible piece of their lives. Will he get the flat-tip shovel? Will they instead get a rake? My bladder cannot survive the suspense!

• Customers who call you "boss": "...Say, boss. Wheres the batteries?". Am I now conversing with Chico Marx? I can take "Dude", "Mister", "hey you"...but "boss"? It's even more annoying than "Chief". I'd like to be called any of these if I am indeed, the "Boss". Mr. Springstein. Capt'n. Sheriff. Jedi Master. Turkey (my ode to the seventies). Any of the 7 dwarves other than Happy.

• Rappers that use old cool songs, remove the cool lyrics, add their own unrealted stupid ones, and then act as if they "created" a new song. When "Ice Ice Baby" came out and stole Queens "Under Pressure" with some of the most insipid lyrics in this plane of reality, who know what door this would open. I hate hearing the first guitar chords to a great some like Americas "Ventura Highway", then hearing some no talent add some electric drum tracks, toss out the original song emotional concept of being alone on the road, and replace it with some crap about how your lover likes yo booty. I swear, that kinda slamming on the creative brakes gave me an audio equivilant of a whiplash...

• Extremly white kids who wear their hats at a perfect 15 degree angle: Is there a tool that is issued to white kids that enables then to rotate the brim of a hat exactly to the right so the angle is between 0 and 45 degrees? Do they really think when they swager in with the oversize shirts and gignormous pants lashed to their knees, that for one moment, I think that they come "from da hood"? Saw a 10 year old kid once with some huge serious "bling" about his neck on a gold chain. His mom must have bought it, and I wonder if she went to Mervins and selected the "Playah" pendant for her special youngster...

• The price of popcorn and drinks in a theater: $4.00 for a popcorn. I can buy like 15 bags of kernels for that. $4.75 for a "small drink". AND, you're paying for the ice too. Which proves that water is the most expensive liquid on the planet. I'm brainstorming how to sneak in food and drinks. It cost exactly as much to buy food there as it does for a ticket, if not more. I realize that this is the theaters way of making a profit, but don't spank me, geez! I'd rather if you had to rent a microwave for 5 minutes for a dollar, and then i could bring in my own food.

...Oh, and notice they dont ask you if you want "butter" on the popcorn. They say "butter flavoring". What is "Butter Flavoring"? All I know, is that it's not butter. I usually say, "Yes I would, but not that petrolium crap you usually offer..." What they offer can eat through fabric in seconds.