Beef Wraps and Wrap Ups

Where I left off from the last blog, I suffered a stroke on my birthday and I lost movement on my left side. So, as continued....

My girlfriend, Whitney, mentioned that everyone she knew that was a stroke victim was effected on the left side. Which I thought was interesting. Anyway... the doctors determined that I didnt have any permanent damage to my brain, just some blood on it. I was responding very well to the physical therapy and the tons of drugs including the late night catheters and blood sugar raids that left my finger infected. Thank you student nurses for stabbing the same finger over and over. The nurses I had were wonderful and kept me calm. Even the ones that hit me in the face with my gait belt by mistake and caught my foot in the bed rail. Whitney stayed every night by my side and only went home to feed the cat. She even rubbed the toy cat on my real cat and brought it to me so I would still feel like my kitten was there. So enter, comfort kitty, which purrs, kneeds, and meows. If it pooped and bitched, it would be just like having Josie there.

I dont remember anything about the week stay in the ICU except flashing the nurses and using the excuse that it was my birthday, which was true. At least that is what I was told I did. I remember most of my 2 1/2 week stay at 4 west rehab, including the food which was dry and tastless and the applesauce tasted like monkey poop, but they had wonderful cheeseburgers and beef wraps. Which I only found out a few days before I left that I could special order.

Now I am finally home with improved vision, I can slightly move my left leg, but I cant play video games yet, which really sucks, but I know it will bac sooner that I think cause I NEED to play Beatles Rock Band when it comes out. I'll update later as things go by.

The birthday curse strikes/my fear of Guitar Hero

I promised I would blog, but I have been in the hospital for almost a month. As past readers would know, I have a birthday curse. Even though I gave my best efforts to avoid it, it struck back with vengeance. I was playing Guitar Hero: World Tour awaiting the face-melting lead in Billy Idols "Rebel Yell", when I was struck down by a stroke which literally melted my face. Which leads me to believe that either Guitar Hero is a portal to Hell, or Billy Idol is the demon spawn. And mind you that this is after I broke my phone at work by dropping it in the toilet and being locked out of my work for half an hour. I thought going home was the safest bet. Actually, now that I think about it, it was the safest because I could have been on a forklift or using power tools. Then Whitney saved my life just by being there and calling the ambulance because the cat cant call anyone because she doesn't have opposable thumbs. Damn evolution. When the ambulance came for me, they stuck tubes up places that tubes do not belong and shaved parts of my body without even asking. And I was shipped away to Southwest Washington Medical.

I was in ICU for a week with almost no food or water and tons of IVs and student nurses who cause finger infections for blood sugar tests. I was finally released to the inpatient rehabilitation wing of the hospital where I had the worst room mate you could ever hope for. He was always bitching and shat himself constantly. His farts woke up the dead. Literally, I mean, there were a few people from the morgue downstairs wandering around trying to figure out how big of a duck it was that could have been stepped on. I thought dogs had snuck into the room and took large dumps at my feet. He also watched sports constantly on the TV he hogged. I HATE sports. Not only that, he watched the ESPN highlights of the sports he just saw.

The IVs gave me a painful blood clot and nurse Barry wacked me in the eye with a gait belt.

...to be continued...